www.modchipman.com

[Darric]

Man, I hope this is the right time and place.

Let me explain. I'm a technician for the Temporax Corporation. Haven't heard of them? I don't doubt it; we're not due to exist for another 300 years. I'm from the year 2352.

The Temporax Corporation have perfected the art of "Time Reversal Individual Manifestation" - aka TRIM. (It's a stupid acronym, I know. But it beats the first suggestion, which was "Backwards Unilateral Time Travel" - "BUTT"). I’ve been sent back to deliver my tale to this website.

Why does someone in the 24th century need assorted DS paraphernalia? Well, after the great gaming collapse of 2137, it became illegal to produce innovative gaming titles. That's right; every game from the 22nd century onwards is a sequel. Don't get me wrong, Final Fantasy 157 through to Final Fantasy 161 were decent games, they just weren't very original.

But recently archaeologists dug up a DS Lite - the first one that's been seen in over three centuries. Unfortunately there was only a single game inside it - Pokemon Dash; it's quite bad. But we also found ancient manuscripts that teach how these DS games, and something called "mull-tee-play-err" allowed for a unification of the people across the world. I can't begin to explain how badly the Earth of 2352 needs this after the aftermath of World War 6. (Between 2317-2349, tell your kids.)

So, let me get to my point. We need any DS technology we can obtain in order to attempt to replicate more DS consoles. I can't begin to explain how greatly this will rekindle our society - to bring back a dawn of great gaming, where people can get together in games like Animal Crossing and Mario Kart. The happiness of 3 billion people is at stake (we lost quite a few in world wars 3, 4 and 6. World War 5 was a bit of a let down really, it only lasted a day.)

How can I prove all this? My only hope is a bit of precognition:

In two years time, Nintendo are going to unlock code in the Wii which causes all users to become their personal soldiers. Why do all Wii games require physical effort? Fact: Gamers are a lazy bunch. The Wii is a plot to train them up through physical exercise and equip them with a deadly weapon. (Ever been hit on the head with a Wii-remote swung at 200kph? I thought not. Why do you think they call that joystick-controller combination the "nunchaku"?)

Believe it or not, if you're a Microsoft or Sony supporter, you're going to be seeing the sharp side of a DS stylus soon enough. I understand that this can only be verified in two years time. In that case I'm willing to receive my prize then. Just know that I'm telling the truth. The 24th century needs your help.

That's all. Greetings from 2352! And don't worry, America, your next president will be much better.
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Temporax Corporation - Our past, our present, our future, today.